In 1992, I watched the premiere of the TV series Mad About You. The female star of the show, Jamie Stemple, was upset by being dumped by her boyfriend just days before Christmas. Her boss responds that Jamie had said that she had decided to dump him. “But not until AFTER the holidays!” Jamie wails.
I knew right then that the show would be a hit. It ran for nearly ten years.
For the rest of us, of course, being dumped is no laughing matter. When your partner abruptly announces that he or she doesn’t desire to carry on your relationship, it can make you feel like — well, like rubbish. And it feels even worse if you have no idea of the reason why.
If there have been issues involving addiction, infidelity, or being abusive, then being dumped shouldn’t come as that big of a shock. But the usual reason tends to be an ambiguous “It’s not you, it’s me.” That leaves you deserted, puzzled, stunned, and embarrassed. But it might also leave you determined to fight back, and to try to win your ex back.
So right away, you initiate a reunion campaign: text messages, phone calls, letters, e-mail, appeals to family and acquaintances. You ask for forgiveness for every crime you committed, up to and including watching too much football. And you either attach yourself to your computer or phone in case a message from your ex comes in, or you go out and try to bump into him or her “accidentally.” But you’re not getting the desired response.
Why? Because in your turbo-charged emotional situation, you can’t see the forest for the trees. You’re trying to transform what you think is your ex-partner’s hatred back into love. You ought to be trying to transfer his or her unresponsiveness back into anticipation. You don’t win an ex back by coming on as needful and distressed – that only convinces your ex that he or she made the right decision by dumping you.
So how DO you win an ex back? Well, if you had been dumped because of your abusiveness or addiction problems — and you decided to overcome them in order to win your ex back — you’d immediately search for some kind of professional help. Well, you also need help with understanding why you were dumped and with healing your inner emotional wounds. Only then can you figure out whether your relationship is really salvageable. And the best way for you to begin on your road to recovery is with The Magic Of Making Up program. Here’s why:
The Magic Of Making Up has helped thousands of couples go from being dumped to being reconciled.