Dating can get more challenging the older you get. That can be especially true if you are just getting over the ending of a long relationship. Maybe your feelings are still a bit tender. Or, you've got more responsibilities than you use to. Perhaps you want to jump into the dating world as you are ready to find a companion to enjoy things with. However, making a fresh start can be often be scary. The first thing is to be sure you are ready to start dating, is it what you want? And, keep in mind that everyone, including you, has baggage from the past.
Here are some tips if you are rusty at dating and meeting new people:
1) Obviously, it is important to take it slow and deal with dating one date at a time. Just make it fun and interesting and do not take it too seriously nor feel rushed. You will find dating easier if you break it down into small little outings and casual meetings. This is not the time to be thinking you have to find the perfect relationship NOW. And, do not feel rushed by anyone you choose to date. Try and keep all the first dates simple like meeting for coffee or a quick lunch. Do something where you can talk for a time and then need to move on to a prior commitment.
2) Take it easy. There is no need to impress anyone. Look good, yes. Spend hours worrying about wearing the perfect outfit. No. Also, if someone doesn’t interest you, tell them honestly and with kindness. It is just a date. If your date is not interested in you. No big deal. Move on. Go home and enjoy your favorite TV show.
3) What’s love got to do with it? Take love out of the equation. Dating is not about falling in love at first sight. Can it happen? Sure. But even if it does you still need to follow tip 1 above: Take it easy. Do not set yourself up for disappointment and don’t set the other person up for disappointment. Stay balanced and get to know your date for who they are. If there are sparks, great. But do not act like every date is about falling in love. Love will come on it’s own (or not … usually it is not). Make dating about just going out to have fun and meet new people. Make it a path to getting to know yourself as well as others. The best tip is to think of dating as a chance to maybe find a new friend.
Shaking off the rust and getting back into dating can be frightening, but if you make it about just getting to know people and have fun then you will likely get to know people and have fun. Dating when you are older (and wiser) is very different from dating in high school or even college. The passions are much more in control when you are younger or less experienced. Just go enjoy yourself. If a date is fun and outstanding, great. If a date goes badly, oh well, let it go and move on.
If you are looking for some relationship advice give Love Coach Kiki a call at 1-800-639-3396. If you are curious about online dating check out Just For Fun Personals, they offer a number of different ways to meet people online.