Arguments between partners is natural. No relationship can be perfect. Naturally people have to be in argumentss and fights. Even before partners can fight, it is good to accept that in your relationship you are bound to agree and disagree. There needs to be a provision for each to have a right to personal opinion subject to an exception on cases when somebody comes between the two of you. In such a case you ought to be a united unit in handling that intruding and problematic person.
You both need to respect one other even when you’re arguing or disagreeing. One should not forget that that is the individual he adores regardless that he is angry with her at this moment. Keeping the issue handy is fighting’s first rule to stay harmoniously. One isn’t supposed to come up with things which are irrelevant to the given dispute that led to the argument. For example, if one’s annoyed because her husband usually leaves dirty dishes around, then it should be the issue to handle, not his being out late the last night.
The night lateness argument ought to have been already dealt with. If one recurrently keeps bringing up the same argument, then it means that to begin with, the issue wasn’t resolved. Settle that problem once and completely while letting the party that’s guilty apologize and move on. If you continue to bring the same things up, you will increase the likelihood of not moving on from that specific issue. You need as well to realize that none of you, either your partner or you is able to change the past. You can instead change the future.
Remember when you are extremely angry with your girlfriend/boyfriend, he isn’t an enemy to you. At the moment you might not like their behavior or them, but anyway you like them. It’s difficult, but for fighting fairly it’s of importance trying and not to verbally attack your spouse. Instead of using expressions like; “You did that or you did this”, it’s more appropriate saying “I’m hurt because” or “I’m annoyed because”. By this way one does not attack the other in person, but she is addressing the problem which is causing the upsetting or hurting feeling.
First start with yourself and feel the situation when addressing it to your companion. Believe it or not, this makes the individual on the defensive side to listen to your grievance. It is critical to feel free with somebody whom you are sharing your life with and speak of something that bothers you. Sure enough, keeping feelings concealed creates more resentment and anger contrary to when you express them with their occurrence. It is better solving an issue in it early stages before it grows to a big problem which is beyond being solved. After fighting, kiss and be happy. This is the one that you love and one that you hope to live with for life, so even with fights the love wins in the end.
The writer, Shadrack Nikenya, is a member of the Nikenya team. Check out their site for lots of information, including details on ways of overcoming fear.